Please, let me fuck your mom
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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