So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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