Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
