Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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