these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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