so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Randomize
