Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
