PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
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