Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
oh god was she eating orange peels again
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
