If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
