True but thats because hes a fetus.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
