How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I just threw up on my dentist
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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