One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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