I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
