Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
