Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize