legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
