We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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