Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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