This is not my ceiling
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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