thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
