I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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