Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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