Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
