peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
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