Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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