When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
