she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Randomize
