Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
