So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize