...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
