Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
