i don't like sucking hair
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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