As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
