No more Irish car bombs ever.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
