just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
