Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
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