Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
