I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
