This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
People in love make me want to vomit
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
