Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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