I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
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He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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