OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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