Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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