Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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