is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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