all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
