And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Randomize
