You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
