My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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