Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
