And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
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I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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