I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
