So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
