thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
