then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
