question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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