so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
pop tarts are not kleenex
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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