I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
