and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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