I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
